Monday, May 12, 2008

9 ways he's changing me

I do a lot of my mulling in the shower. I know it's an odd place to get melancholy...but I've come to terms with me! ::smile:: And be honest anyway...where do you mull? Hmmmmm? Today I was standing there thinking how much I've changed. I'm SO serious. So consumed. So tired! So in love. So cranky. So happy. So many things that I never thought I'd be... I don't know...I'm just different than I imagined. My whole life is different, ya know? Anyway...this was forwarded to me via the yahoo IS forum...and it managed to capture more eloquently all the things that were splishing around my heart this morning...
9 things our children have taught us...
Not Sweat the Small Stuff
While your neighbor might be worrying about whether their daughter will make the soccer team, you're wondering if your 15-year-old will ever live independently. When you've been through tough times with your kids, you don't worry as much about the everyday things. Our children give us the gift of perspective.
Appreciate the Little Things
Our kids may never be the top of the class at school or the captain of a hockey team. But since our kids have to work so hard, even the littlest changes bring us incredible joy. How about the first time your child spoke a full sentence, did up their zipper, or made their first phone call? Or perhaps they made a trip through the grocery store without breaking down into a tantrum. Break out the champagne!
Feel Capable and Competent
Parenting our kids means we’ve developed skills, strengths and stamina beyond what we ever could have imagined. After you've mastered a feeding tube, held your child's hand through another surgery, or learned a complicated therapy, you know you can tackle anything.
Advocate and Speak Out
Whether you’re explaining your kid’s uniqueness at a school meeting, summer camp, or friend’s house, being a mom means learning to confidently speak up. And with years of practice, you’ve learned how to do it right: put it in writing, always aim for win-win solutions, and give thanks to people working hard for your child. With such evolved skills in diplomacy who knows where we’ll end up? Politics perhaps?
Manage Time and Energy
Most parents don't have to spend hours arranging and attending medical or therapy appointments, filling out countless forms, or advocating for services. You quickly learn to do what's essential and leave the rest. You’ve learned how to pace yourself and to take a break to keep positive and optimistic.
Be a Friend
No one “gets” it like a friend who can relate. You’ve shared the joys, supported each other through tough times and worried together about the future. Nothing can match that bond between you and your friends with special needs kids. You also learn to treasure your friends outside of the special needs world. Isn’t it nice sometimes to talk about “typical” kid issues, or not talk about kids at all?
Be Compassionate
Our kids introduce us to their friends and peers who may also have disabilities. And we learn to enjoy, respect, and celebrate people who have differences. We gain compassion, empathy and understanding. Value What’s Important: Our kids remind us about what really counts. We learn that a meaningful life doesn’t depend on a competitive job or a college degree. Instead, we want our children to feel loved, respected and happy. Isn’t that what we all truly wish for?
Treasure Them as They Are
We learn that every life is precious. We find ways to lovingly connect with our kids—even if they have no words or gestures. Along the way we find the balance between wanting to “cure” our kids and simply enjoying who they are.
Amy and Heather©Amy Baskin and Heather FawcettCo-authors “More Than a Mom: Living a Full and Balanced Life When Your Child Has Special Needs”. See for information about workshops, our latest magazine and website interviews about special needs parenting, and useful disability links.


JSmith5780 said...

LOVE it! Since I haven't gotten an IS email in close to a week, I'll probably never be able to catch up and find this!

Now I have to figure out what's wrong with my email privileges from the group!

baby trevor's mommy said...

I thought you've been rather quiet! *wink*

I LOVED this too! Speaks all the stuff that I can't find the right words to say...


Shanna Grimes said...

IS through email? Am I dim or something? I didn't know you could subscribe. I guess I never saw the link. I was wondering how you kids kept up with all the posts. I have only subscribed to receive comments posted to a particular topic I have posted to. I will have to check it out. I haven't been on IS in a month. I just haven't had the time. Much easier to RSS or get it through email.

BTW...Did get our blog posted on Miami CH. I think I forgot to mention that last week. Thanks for the info on that.

Great post as always and completely hits the target as an SN parent. Sometimes I feel like you guys (bloglandbuddies) are my close knit friend circle and my other friends are just the peeps I hang out with and go to the mall with. It's easier to pour my guts out in one sentence or two to you, because I don't need to explain. You all get it. You've all been there. Not that I'm not close to my IRL friends, it's just different, I guess. You know??

JSmith5780 said...

Are you saying I am loud? ;)

I guess I will have to use my home email, I just stink at keeping up to date with my home email!

If I could access the website from work, I would just do it that way, but my wonderful company feels it's a dating/social site and won't let me get there :)

baby trevor's mommy said... thanks my blog-girlfriend! ((((hugs)))) I totally needed the love! and send it back...but you know that! And YES...I do *get* it! word...

husbands! lol

I think our Js might get along!


~Mama Skates~ said...

amen to all of that - great post!

btw...i mull in the shower too! ~lol~


baby trevor's mommy said...

sharon...I won't tell if you won't tell!

...bout the mulling of course!