things to remember

Things to Remember if you Have a Special Needs Child

  1. Somebody else always has it worse than you
  2. Somebody always has it better
  3. Better or worse has no effect on happiness. None.
  4. The scariest thing about raising a kid with special needs isn't the limitations -- it's the potential and how to unlock it
  5. Nutrition is incredibly important
  6. Vaccines should be treated with the utmost care
  7. Your kid is more typical than you may think
  8. There is no magical piece of equipment that will make your child walk/talk/pick up their head/crawl. That stuff takes hours of work on the part of many people.
  9. The best wisdom comes from people who have been there/done that/bought the T-shirt
  10. The best wisdom does not come from your doctors
  11. Doctors work from generalities and your child is specific -- don't forget that
  12. Always look at the kid -- even if the tests look bad -- look at the kid
  13. Go with your gut
  14. IQ is a measure of what you should know versus what you actually know -- potential is immeasurable
  15. I no longer believe that brain damage equals intellectual deficit. There are exceptions to this, but go ahead and assume that your child understands, explain consequences, and talk to them throughout their day. Their bodies may belie their true understanding. Giving them the benefit of the doubt is free.
  16. If your doctor tells you your child will never be normal -- ask them to define normal
  17. Your kid is worth it -- if a doctor cannot see your child's worth...find a new doctor. Yesterday.
  18. Your child is normal. Disability is part of the normal human condition.
  19. Don't worry about whether or not you're making a friend uncomfortable talking about therapy, equipment or whatever. If they're any kind of friend, they'll figure out how to listen. Some people will be uncomfortable until they know the right language to use...so use words like "disabled" or "special needs" or "fill in the blank with your own term" around them so they know it's OK.
  20. Looking at someone else's kid and being jealous is kind of like staring at somebody's apple pie when you've got a slice of rhubarb right in front of you. It's time to figure out how to like rhubarb because that, my friend, is the slice you've been given.


I swiped this off of FaceBook.

Cause I loved it...

and I could use an easy post...

and I'm just like that.

Especially on Trevy's at home days.


Feel free to add one of your own thoughts in the comments section!


Kristine said...

Thank you...I needed some of those today!

baby trevor's mommy said...

Ditto on me...


blogzilly said...

Good swipe.

Anonymous said...

I like!!! definite golden nuggets in there...
Marcia K

Jackson's Blog said...

Love the post Danielle...:-)

The Lundgrens said...

This is great!! I may to have to swipe a swipe. ;)

Have I ever introduced myself? This cyberspace thing is weird sometimes. Totally feel like I know you, but I've only been stalking your blog for about 4 months now.
So, a friend of mine put me in touch with Jen Smith...who is a friend of yours........

Feel like we have many things in common and your blog brings me lots of encouragement. So...thank you...for sharing your heart.

Our son Luke was diagnosed with IS on Oct. 27th of last year. Tried the Vigabatrin route for a month with no success and then decided to go the Ketogenic Diet route. Wasn't our docs first choice, but I definitely knew that it was the decision God was leading us to, so I went with my gut and insisted.

Long road...long story....but he had an EEG on Friday.....as in 3 days ago. The EEG is normal and looks, in the doctor's words, "phenomenal". He's only been on the diet for 4 months. He's never, ever had a "normal" EEG and because of his Grade IV brain bleed, they really ever expected him to I don't think. We're beyond excited and very grateful. Totally seems like nothing short of a miracle.

Anyway....this is a novel.

But, thanks again for sharing and I hope it's ok that I "pop" into your world from time to time. :)

Another hopeful heart,

Kristi Lundgren
Mommy to twin sons, Luke and Caleb (18 months)

JSmith5780 said...

Kristi- don't feel bad. I already swiped it!

TheRextras said...

Going to tell a few friends of mine - about this post.

Anonymous said...

liked the first two points.! We have been riding the IS waters for sometime now...

We have IS controlled and slow development. We are the minority (among minorities!) where we know the cause of IS (focal cortical dysplasia), but the EEG is not bad enough to warrant surgery!

We have some development...but its slow....

(BTW, we were in the neighboring room in detroit when trevor was having his brain mapped). Our daughter started preschool in Feb....and still not liking it :)

Lisa said...

Love this post. I need to keep that last bit in mind...I have a problem with the jealousy bug a lot of the time.

Colby said...

Always love your "nuggets", Miss Danielle! And I am ALWAYS stealing stuff from you, too!!!