4.07.2023

he speaks in soul, not words



Trevor's eyes have always been magic.
 
I watched some old videos this week and was once again captivated by the way his whole soul radiates from his eyes, even as a toddler. It's as if all the words his mouth will never have the skill to find come beaming through his eyes instead. Like his heart language is soul speak, not spoken words.
 
He's had a rough seizure week. Like, rescue med rough.
 
This suffering of ours. How much can one family take? How much can his body bear?
 
Last night, as we snuggled in bed together, there it was. The magic. He turned his head my way, and his soul was reaching out for mine. We lay on our pillows just staring into each other's eyes. No words. No barriers. No secrets. No bitterness. All eyes. All love. All trust. All soul.
 
And it was breathtaking. It was beautiful.
 
Spontaneous tears started welling, then dripping down my cheeks. I haven't stopped weeping since.

This journey is so hard and heart-wrenching and bone wearying. I wish it on no one. But, by God, I have spoken with his soul and it is magnificent. It is magic.

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