Tomorrow is PET scan day.
I was trying so hard to be brave. Care-free. Independant.
I told everybody I was okay going alone. It's only thirty minutes each way...I said. Filling out paperwork by myself would be a breeze with Trevy (starving and) sitting sweetly in his stroller. I'm strong...I could manage holding him down (even if it ripped my bloody heart out) while the IV team (that gosh darn team better be there btw!) attempted to get a line in.
I've been mentally pep talking myself.
Suck it up and stop being such a wuss! You're a strong woman! Brave! You lived in Africa for crying out loud... You can handle this! This is for Trevy...be there for Trevy!
But the relief that overwhelmed me this morning when Jonathan said he was going up with me. And would stay as long as possible. And do the holding during the IV poke. That relief proved otherwise...
Cause the reality is...
I'm as much of a baby as my baby!