Beautiful Trevor. You are my sweet little boy. I can't imagine loving you more - I think my heart would burst. This is a journal of how your life unfolded from the day we found out you had IS...
Monday 11/12/2007
You had your 1st cluster. Daddy & I didn't know what it was - and you looked so cute that we laughed. You were just 7 1/2 months old.
Tuesday 11/13/2007
Your clusters continued. Inwardly, I was freaking out but outwardly I didn't want to be "that" mom - you know the one who's crazy insane about germs & her kids getting sick. I wish I could take that back now.
Wednesday 11/14/2007
You, Toby & Bristel had an appt. for flu shots. I told Dr. E about your spasms. He thought it might be reflux and gave me some samples of soy formula to try out.
Thursday 11/15/2007
Daddy was in DE packing equipment & stuff onto a Tanzania-bound container. Our tickets were booked for December 5th. We had no idea how dramatically our lives were about to change. Meanwhile, I was calling the doctor frantically - in my heart I knew something was wrong. I had taken a video clip of your spasms to show him - Daddy's idea. After reviewing the video with an associate they both determined it could be IS. He set up an EEG for the next day.
I called daddy & in-between my sobbing I asked him if he really believes that God has a purpose in every single thing. He said yes. I said I did too.
Your daddy left everything behind and drove through the rain to come home and hold you. He didn't get home til' midnight - and we just hugged eachother and cried.
Friday 11/16/2007
We took you to Hasbro for an EEG - stomachs in our throats. I was holding you snuggled up and sleeping on my chest when a doctor came in. I knew right away, Trevor. I knew. But I didn't want it to be true. And I cried. That poor nurse. She didn't know what to say and kept saying everything was going to be okay. But I knew it wasn't.
And the doctor confirmed it later that day in his office. He set up for you to be admitted the following Monday.
************
Monday 11/12/2007
You had your 1st cluster. Daddy & I didn't know what it was - and you looked so cute that we laughed. You were just 7 1/2 months old.
Tuesday 11/13/2007
Your clusters continued. Inwardly, I was freaking out but outwardly I didn't want to be "that" mom - you know the one who's crazy insane about germs & her kids getting sick. I wish I could take that back now.
Wednesday 11/14/2007
You, Toby & Bristel had an appt. for flu shots. I told Dr. E about your spasms. He thought it might be reflux and gave me some samples of soy formula to try out.
Thursday 11/15/2007
Daddy was in DE packing equipment & stuff onto a Tanzania-bound container. Our tickets were booked for December 5th. We had no idea how dramatically our lives were about to change. Meanwhile, I was calling the doctor frantically - in my heart I knew something was wrong. I had taken a video clip of your spasms to show him - Daddy's idea. After reviewing the video with an associate they both determined it could be IS. He set up an EEG for the next day.
I called daddy & in-between my sobbing I asked him if he really believes that God has a purpose in every single thing. He said yes. I said I did too.
Your daddy left everything behind and drove through the rain to come home and hold you. He didn't get home til' midnight - and we just hugged eachother and cried.
Friday 11/16/2007
We took you to Hasbro for an EEG - stomachs in our throats. I was holding you snuggled up and sleeping on my chest when a doctor came in. I knew right away, Trevor. I knew. But I didn't want it to be true. And I cried. That poor nurse. She didn't know what to say and kept saying everything was going to be okay. But I knew it wasn't.
And the doctor confirmed it later that day in his office. He set up for you to be admitted the following Monday.
************
Our journey from that day to this has been such a roller coaster. Some days leave me gasping for air. Some leave me on my knees. Some with peace in my heart...that there is a Purpose in every single thing.
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