normal to not in 5 days

Beautiful Trevor. You are my sweet little boy. I can't imagine loving you more - I think my heart would burst. This is a journal of how your life unfolded from the day we found out you had IS...

Monday 11/12/2007

You had your 1st cluster. Daddy & I didn't know what it was - and you looked so cute that we laughed. You were just 7 1/2 months old.

Tuesday 11/13/2007

Your clusters continued. Inwardly, I was freaking out but outwardly I didn't want to be "that" mom - you know the one who's crazy insane about germs & her kids getting sick. I wish I could take that back now.

Wednesday 11/14/2007

You, Toby & Bristel had an appt. for flu shots. I told Dr. E about your spasms. He thought it might be reflux and gave me some samples of soy formula to try out.

Thursday 11/15/2007

Daddy was in DE packing equipment & stuff onto a Tanzania-bound container. Our tickets were booked for December 5th. We had no idea how dramatically our lives were about to change. Meanwhile, I was calling the doctor frantically - in my heart I knew something was wrong. I had taken a video clip of your spasms to show him - Daddy's idea. After reviewing the video with an associate they both determined it could be IS. He set up an EEG for the next day.

I called daddy & in-between my sobbing I asked him if he really believes that God has a purpose in every single thing. He said yes. I said I did too.

Your daddy left everything behind and drove through the rain to come home and hold you. He didn't get home til' midnight - and we just hugged eachother and cried.

Friday 11/16/2007

We took you to Hasbro for an EEG - stomachs in our throats. I was holding you snuggled up and sleeping on my chest when a doctor came in. I knew right away, Trevor. I knew. But I didn't want it to be true. And I cried. That poor nurse. She didn't know what to say and kept saying everything was going to be okay. But I knew it wasn't.

And the doctor confirmed it later that day in his office. He set up for you to be admitted the following Monday.

Our journey from that day to this has been such a roller coaster. Some days leave me gasping for air. Some leave me on my knees. Some with peace in my heart...that there is a Purpose in every single thing.
Click here to read about where we're at today.

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