6.02.2008

feeling funky

I just am.


I've been trying to ignore it. Eyes wide shut thing. Sheesh...the pressure of being an ex-missionary! But it's just the way it is today. The past several days if I'm being honest. Which at this point I might as well.


I'm just in a funk.


I'm not really sure when or why it started. Just kinda crept up on me. Funks are sneaky like that. Hunkdered in the shadows waiting for our guard to drop. Just a bit. Or for life to slow enough for us to be caught off balance. And then *pounce*. Clobbers ya. Right in your weak spot. And for a spell...it's hard to breathe.


Or maybe it's just me? Maybe it's faulty genes? (thanks mom!)


*sigh*


We were kinda gutted today. Jonathan didn't get a job that we were really hoping would come through. We're still reeling in the wind from the slamming of that door. And it feels an awful lot like we're back to very scary square one. Which I'd like to say is okay.



But frankly. I'm in a funk. And it's not.



And here I am all Jeckle & Hyde & spilling my guts in cyber space. One part freaking out. One part trying to trust. One part snapping at the kids & Jonathan. One part snuggling them & blubbering. One part mentally screaming - melt down! One part clinging to "I know the thoughts I have for you..."


All parts funky. Undone. A mess.


I know it'll pass. Eventually. It always does. And I know every thing's going to work out. It always does too.


It's just the between now and then that's....


funky.





8 comments:

JSmith5780 said...

I am a firm believer in "if it's meant to be, it will be". Many times I have been crushed when I lost an oppostunity, only to have another, better, more right for me, opportunity come along.

wait for it, it will come...

hugs

~Mama Skates~ said...

((((((super tight hugs)))))))

baby trevor's mommy said...

Jen - I'm with you. And even though our life is a bit off-balance right now...we have SO many things going in our favor! Honestly... Trevors doing so good. We have enough $$ that we don't really need to freak out...yet. My parents have been a huge help! And they're thrilled we're here...because my dad is going for major back surgery next week & we'll be able to help them during recovery time.

It's just that I'm selfish like that. lol I want every thing to be sorted RIGHT now!

Sharon - thanks!

Shanna Grimes said...

Isn't family great! They are always there when you need them.

Hang in there. The sun will come out tomorrow, as Annie says. I have also been in a funk. It must be something in the water!

Hugs,
Shanna

baby trevor's mommy said...

wow...that was weird! lol

I was literally mid-sentence typing you an email!

Too bad we're on opposite coasts...we could go get a pedi or something & be funky together!

(((hugs))))

...danielle

blondie said...

Sorry to hear about the job. We are praying for you guys Danielle!

baby trevor's mommy said...

Thanks Jenn...

and ditto.

...danielle

Barbara said...

Hey Danielle, I've been in a funk too!? Just wanted to let you know you guys have been in my thoughts & Prayers :) I'll keep you dad in prayer too;)