Nothing feels right about it.
Add the creepy atmosphere which accompanies our local Genetics office and it's like something I night-mared once.
The elevator is shaped like one of those rooms in a haunted ride at an amusement park. The kind that look normal before you actually step inside. And the doors always open before the lift actually arrives at destination.
Only to dump you into a dark dungeon-y hall. With rows of doors. And old curb alert couches.
I swear all the florescent bulbs flicker. I think they're morse coding "LEAVE NOW...and take the stairs"!
I'll never forget our first time. Another family was leaving as we were entering. They were so beautiful. So young. Too young to face the kind of heartache that has you boarding creepy elevators & navigating dungeon-y halls to visit Genetics Counselors.
She had an infant carrier on her arm. I couldn't bring myself to peek inside.
The passing happened in mere seconds. But when our eyes met it was like time stood still. And we both smiled sadly at each other.
I wasn't privy to her thoughts. Mine were less thought..more prayer. Begging God to protect their hearts. To make their baby whole. To lift the sadness that filled her from the heart up. That was masking her eyes. I always wonder if my eyes give me away? I'm not always sad. In fact, I've been on a happy run recently. But every time I chance a glimpse in the mirror...my eyes reflect back sadness. And an aged-ness that make-up just can't hide. Ugh!
Our insurance (which btw is not the same which denied Trev's ACTH) had approved the next round of testing...and we needed the paperwork before heading to the lab.
We'd arrived about 45 minutes before Trevor's next appointment. It's just easier to lump the visits when possible. And we figured that'd give us enough time to grab the forms...and head down stairs for the lab jab.
We were wrong.
On top of having to traipse up a creepy elevator...down dungeon-y door lined hallways...past old ratty couches...
...we also had to deal with her. The other Dr. Genetics. There are just two. We lucked out with being assigned the other her...who happened to be on vacation.
I've heard twisted tales of this her's bed-side manner. Including once walking out in the middle of an appointment with a parent (whom I know!) & other doctors. She got up & just walked out!
She was about as helpful with us. The paperwork we were hoping to grab & jab was nowhere to be found. She basically accused us of fibbing. That if our insurance had indeed approved the Rhett test it would be documented. It wasn't...she snapped. But asked if we would mind waiting for a minute anyway.
She receded into one of the doors. And slammed it shut.
We gulped courage and chanced a sit on a couch.
Half an hour later...and way past the time of being able to lump two appointments into one day...as she's about to tell us we'd have to come back another time...the office manager magically finds the paperwork!
Which was a great relief honestly. Even if we still would have to make another trip (which I'll share in another less rant-y post).
Oh...and she did throw us an apology bone.
But seriously? I'm more than a wee bit disturbed...and bordering on outraged...
Because it just isn't right that someone dealing with information so sensitive...is SO not! I...for one...think we & our babies deserve more!
(this has been a rant)