9.15.2008

and ps...

I'm happy to report...so far today has been a better day. Trevor only woke three times last night...which is closer to normal. And he's been in a happy mood. We were even able to get a good Blood Pressure...with minimal fussies. I can finally breath again now that we gave him his first dose of Zonegran. I always hold my breath until the first dose of anything goes in...I'm crazy like that.

::smile::

My sappy just swallowed me up yesterday. I'm reminded of quote from my college days:


Great expectations...lead to great disappointments


Subconsciously I expected that Trevor would respond more quickly this time. He didn't.

I expected that the spasms would mild-up immediately...like last time. They haven't. Although it's more of a mix. Some are milder. Some are very noticeable. But we did end the day with at least 30.

I expected my heart to be stronger this time. It isn't.

And all of my expectations culminated in a very melancholy day. But emotions are like tides. At least mine are. They ebb & flow. Pulse. Sometimes predictably. Sometimes not.

And today...the sad tide has subsided. And I'm okay...










4 comments:

~Mama Skates~ said...

i have to remind myself of that almost daily - i'm one to get my hopes up & count my chickens before they hatch....i have to remember to PRAY for the best, but be ready for the worst - then PRAY HARDER ;0)

luv u!
sharon

labonte4 said...

Funny how my "meloncholy" always ends up as an angry post *LOL* Yours always come out so nice.

I'm just so p.o.'ed at seizures and epilepsy.

I just need to go to bed.

I'm glad today was a better day.

Shanna Grimes said...

Just let yourself feel the emotions and get them out. I think that is the only way we really get through things and heal.

We are here if you need us.

Glad it was a better day today.

Hugs,
Shanna

Monica, James, Connor McGuire said...

Glad to hear that you are having better days. Just remember you are allowed bad days. We've all been there too. I agree with one of the comments above how my bad days always come out as lashings on the blog. I always have to self censor on bad days or there will be major feelings hurt.