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and ps...

I'm happy to report...so far today has been a better day. Trevor only woke three times last night...which is closer to normal. And he's been in a happy mood. We were even able to get a good Blood Pressure...with minimal fussies. I can finally breath again now that we gave him his first dose of Zonegran. I always hold my breath until the first dose of anything goes in...I'm crazy like that.

::smile::

My sappy just swallowed me up yesterday. I'm reminded of quote from my college days:


Great expectations...lead to great disappointments


Subconsciously I expected that Trevor would respond more quickly this time. He didn't.

I expected that the spasms would mild-up immediately...like last time. They haven't. Although it's more of a mix. Some are milder. Some are very noticeable. But we did end the day with at least 30.

I expected my heart to be stronger this time. It isn't.

And all of my expectations culminated in a very melancholy day. But emotions are like tides. At least mine are. They ebb & flow. Pulse. Sometimes predictably. Sometimes not.

And today...the sad tide has subsided. And I'm okay...










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Comments

Mama Skates said…
i have to remind myself of that almost daily - i'm one to get my hopes up & count my chickens before they hatch....i have to remember to PRAY for the best, but be ready for the worst - then PRAY HARDER ;0)

luv u!
sharon
September 15, 2008 at 10:26 AM
labonte4 said…
Funny how my "meloncholy" always ends up as an angry post *LOL* Yours always come out so nice.

I'm just so p.o.'ed at seizures and epilepsy.

I just need to go to bed.

I'm glad today was a better day.
September 15, 2008 at 7:52 PM
Shanna Grimes said…
Just let yourself feel the emotions and get them out. I think that is the only way we really get through things and heal.

We are here if you need us.

Glad it was a better day today.

Hugs,
Shanna
September 16, 2008 at 11:54 AM
Monica~ James~ Connor said…
Glad to hear that you are having better days. Just remember you are allowed bad days. We've all been there too. I agree with one of the comments above how my bad days always come out as lashings on the blog. I always have to self censor on bad days or there will be major feelings hurt.
September 16, 2008 at 12:44 PM
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