I tend to be a live out loud kinda girl.

But sometimes...

well...sometimes life is just so heavy. So intense. So overwhemling. That it brings out the recluse in me.

Like lately.

The thing is...I know it'll pass. It always does. And I'll learn something. Grow. Hopefully. Survive. Certainly. Because I have to.

It's just right now. In this particular heavy moment. I would much rather run away to some tropical paradise and sip martinis until Jonathan calls to tell me Trevy's back at home. Happy. And seizure free. With a new head of curls covering the scar and bouncing around the house.

I am a coward after all. I've never denied that.

And I really don't want to live through this next month.

Which is probably why my posts will be random. At best.


kristi said...

I understand. Sometimes you have to just step away and try to breathe.


JSmith5780 said...

Don't apologize for any lack of posts or randomness. You have a lot on your plate with surgery a month away.

I'll be glad to come sip those martinis (well beer at least!) with you!

Colby said...

Hey, Girl...

I feel for you SO MUCH....I sit here and try to imagine what it would be like to have someone tell me Colby had a chance at seizure freedom....It is so foreign to me...I wish I knew something to say to really make things easier for you....

But I think you will see that this month will go quicker than you expect...Try to rest when you can....And know that you have made the best decision for your son....

I wish we lived close so I could hug you tight!!!



Our young lady... said...

You WILL get through this... Allow yourself "ME" time sometimes. But, also surround yourself with people who love you. When you think you can't do "it" anymore, they will carry you through it....
lots of hugs and love,
Hannah and Blitzen

Joel and Cynthia said...

Just know that we are praying and and, when you post, we will be reading and in the mean times...begging the Lord to take good care of you all.

brendalynn said...

you will get though it danielle. i know you will. ill be continuing to pray or you guys. i love you.

Holli said...

That's so me too. Kind of like how I cover my eyes during a scary movie and wait til it's safe to watch again. I never want to go through the motions of life if they're trying. I just want to press fast forward and get to the good part.

I know this has GOT to be the most crazy, exciting... yet extremely terrifying time for you.

And, you're right, you will grow and survive. But, the suspense and anticipation is killer.

We will ALL be here to cheer you on this next month. And Praying. And when October comes, still praying and cheering for you.

Anonymous said...

we love you so much! I just read joel and cynthia's comments and i thought what a blessing we have to be connected with them in Brazil and to know you and the family are just being wrapped up in so many prayers from all over the world.
we love you so much and just know you can rest in the support of all of us praying.
love you bunches,

Sophie's Story by Elaine said...

I'm a margarita girl myself. Between being pregnant with Elsa, nursing and being pregnant with Charlie...I had to wait over 2 years to have one again...and oh was it YUMMY!!! I can picture it now...us sitting outside on a nice warm day with a cool breeze sipping our yummies with Trev and Soph running around seizure free. Because I know someday, I will get to see those beautiful curls in person and I have so much hope that he will be seizure free when I do. And then this time that you are going through right now will seem less nightmarish and more miraclish.

Katie Ireland said...

Keep your head up...even if it is under the covers. Lean on your husband.

Praying for the best for Trevor!


MJStump said...


I'm with you..tropical island and coming back to the reality of everything when the coast is clear. Sometimes I think of how great it would be to escape the craziness that life brings.

We look back now and can't believe how we survived the ACTH, and how scary it was those first few days in the hospital with the whole IS diagnosis. But we always get through those crazy times and think wow, how did we ever do it.

You are an awesome mommy, and you will get through this and anything else that comes along...all for your kiddos.

We aren't traveling the path that you and so many others have traveled with the surgery, but look back and see how far you've come...just gotta keep on going. Maybe it's lame but listen to "The Climb" by Mylie Cyrus. We heard it over and over again on the TV in the hospital with Kylie, and it is now our song for her. I cry when I hear it and well, it's all just so fitting.

Sending hugs and prayers your way,

Adesta said...

Hey, I happen to love the random posts that you do!! teeheehee

I think we can all understand why your posts would be random and just out there....you've got other, much more important things to focus on right now.

Just remember that we are all right here with you and praying alongside of you all for Trevy. {hugs}

~Mama Skates~ said...

u know we'll b patiently waiting...& praying! u b as random as u wanna b girl!

i've said it b4 & i'll say it again - i have no idea how hard it is 2 go thru what u're dealing with! i think u r the perfect example of love, strength, grace & beauty!

blogzilly said...

That's interesting. We'd had a discussion this week about how I'd wished I could have been placed into a Cryotube and frozen for a year while we worked all this stuff out for Bennett.

Sometimes this week I really wished for it. Probably will again. But then what I always remind myself of the good I would have missed, and then (aside from maybe losing my cool for a few days) I can find some reason to plow forward.

Monica~ James~ Connor said...

i can't even imagine what you are going through...emotionally & physically so I'm not even going to pretend. All I've got for you is a great big {{{{hug}}}}, and an offer to escape & drink some cold ones with ya!!