Everything happens for a reason.
There is a reason why we weren't already discharged.
Partly...I believe...so Julia's mommy and I could grab a cuppa Biggby's together. Lisa...I think you guys should consider moving East! A cute little cottage right across the street from us is for sale...
But it was also partly because Trevor had a breakthrough seizure. If we had left yesterday or today...this would have happened on the road.
I hate myself for missing the ques. He was acting weird. Off. Kinda scared. Unsettled. Crazy eyed.
I've seen all these things before. And I still missed the signals. And left him. To run downstairs and grab Jonathan a coffee. So I wasn't there. I hate myself for that too.
Poor Jonathan. To be alone. When the Monster reared it's ugly head again. So much for slayed. Now he has the fearful eyes. Although things have settled down some.
It was NOT an Infantile Spasm seizure.
I actually had to send a description to other seizure moms...because we had never seen a seizure like this before. His eyes deviated upwards and to the right. His body went rigid towards the right. Shook slightly. And he moaned throughout. Jonathan believes it lasted about 1/2 a minute. Although he's not sure. It happened so fast...yet felt like forever. My seizure mommy friends all concurred that it was a tonic seizure. They all have been a gi-normous support today. Immediately responding to my facebook crazy talk. We may all only be connected by cyber space...but my heart doesn't seem to care. You girls made me cry and helped me be strong today. I love you...
His Dilantin level was low earlier. And the seizure occurred just as they were administering a booster. So it's quite possible that the seizure happened because he wasn't adequately covered by meds. The problem is...I've been living in the land of med-resistant seizures for so long that it's really really hard to wrap my mind around believing in a drug. That would be why we chose surgery.
He only had ONE seizure. Which IS better than clusters all day long.
I have been assured that they have seen other post-hemi children have seizures...it does not mean the surgery is a failure. Even though in this particular moment I'm suffering a very strong case of Buyer's Remorse.