Trevy had a well visit last Friday. Evidently so did a whole buncha other families. Cause the waiting room was packed to capacity!
It just felt so surreal. For me. Actually, I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to knowing. What he's battled. And survive-ing.
But sitting there especially. Our first time back to the doctors. Since. Last time we sat in that room it was saturated with the seizures of (one of) the most courageous little boy I know. But not this time. This time it was saturated with all those rugrats running around. Trevy...all smiling eyes and crooked grin...right in the middle of the chaos. Soaking in everything. While I soaked him in. My heart so very full.
Spreading upwards. Causing my eyes to shine so deeply I could feel the emotion ready to spill.
What a little miracle he is! Always has been!
His curls (that's right...we have CURLS!) have grown in enough that his scar is camoflauged. Mostly. Although even when it was glaring...it never seemed like anybody noticed anyway. Or at least they didn't want to ask. I was kinda hoping someone would. Cause even though I try really hard to control my(verbose)self...and not say anything. A part of me feels like everyone who meets him should know. That this little boy. With the crooked angel grin. Is an amazing. Brave. Scar headed. Miracle!
But he didn't really look like a miracle. There in the middle of all the kids. He just looked like one of them. And it was beautiful. And enough. That I knew.
And when he found the books. Over across the room. Books are his passion these days. When he chose one. And turned to flash his crooked grin. Just for me. Eyes shining. No longer foggy. And haunted. Just joyful. And beaming. Locked with mine from the other side of the room.
In that moment. Right in the middle of the waiting room. I thought my heart might burst.
I'm not sure I'll ever get used to knowing...
...to belonging to that angel with the crooked grin!