the story behind the picture

 Because I love you and won't force mandatory torture on you - 

The short story

Trevy should have been in that picture. 

*****

Because you might love me.  Or at the very least be looking for a way to dwiddle a few minutes of your time away and still feel like you've accomplished something.  I now give you...

The long story

It was such a beautiful night for light looking.  The air was crisp but without the classic New England wind so you could comfortably manage an hour or so walking around outdoors.  The twinkling Christmas display was absolutely magical.  Make you feel like a kid again breathtaking.  La Saelette will no doubt become a Foltzie Family Tradition.

Only hopefully next year we'll either not need (cause yes...I still believe in miracles!) or won't forget (cause the flip side of future miracles is daily life with Trevy keeping me grounded in our reality!) Trevy's leash!

I realized as we were pulling the stroller outta the trunk that I'd left the brand new Elmo leash purchased for just such occasions...at home.  On the table.  Where I'd placed it so I wouldn't forget.  Except...I did.  Because I'd forget my own head if it weren't attached to my neck.  And even with my attached head I forget everything.  Everything!  I often feel having my attached head accomplishes little to nothing any way.

::sigh::

But Trevy has been hearing the word "safe" used often these days.  We're using it to remind him not to hit his friends and family.

Safe hands, Trevy. 

We're using it to remind him to watch where he's walking so he doesn't trip on the stairs or walk into walls.

Safe feet, Trevy.

We're using it when he shoves food twice the size of his mouth into his pie hole.

Safe bites, Trevy.

Safe this.  Safe that.  We have "safe" coming out our ears!  And I thought to myself what a perfect opportunity to practice safety awareness skills.  Note the absent exclamation point capping that last sentence.  See, I wasn't really excited about the idea of practicing.  I was just trying to make mental lemonade.  So I sucked in an icy breath and exhaled...

Holding hands is safe, Trevy.   

And Trevy did just ducky for the first half of our tour.  Mostly because he stayed strapped into the stroller.  He was happy.  And super cute with his sparkling eyes and rosy cheeks.  Eventually he began asking to "waaaa" - walk.  I pretended to ignore or tried to distract until it no longer worked.  And I have this thing.  Mommy guilt?  Insanity?  I wasn't going to force him to experience the magic as a stroller hostage just because I'd forgotten my beloved leash.  I was going to sigh deeply and suck it up.  I was going to be a mommy.  Trevy's mommy.  My beautiful hyper active forty pounds of trying to run away without a backwards glance so I can lick that shiny red light waaaaaay over there child.  I was going to be his mommy.  I was going to hold his hand.  And remind him about being safe every time he tried to squirm out of a mitten for a light licking.  Which was...oh, about every other step.

And actually...he was doing pretty good.  Sure, he was trying to pull away.  But only with about 20 pounds worth of strength.  Which meant he was at least partially processing the boundaries.  Instead of wholly ignoring or not understanding or challenging them.  Hooray for partially processing!  Inch by inch we climb...

I wasn't even breaking a sweat from all the being Trevy's mommy work out.  Even with the hop hop hop and squirm squirm squirming.  One step try to squirm away.  One step hop hop hop.  They may be working on hopping in ABA?  One step squirm away.  One step hop hop hop.  Pause.  Call "mama"!  Pause.  Shout "see"!  His newest fave word. "See!" Trevy hop hop hop and squirm squirm squirm.  Trust me, Trevy...mommy "sees" you.  You get the picture.

The lights were beautiful and there were so many wonderful photo ops.  I wasn't really feeling stressed at all.  A victory!  I was feeling proud of myself and relaxed. Which is probably why my guard was down allowing the what was I thinking thought that we just had to get a cutsie picture of Trevy and his little buddy to flit in my head.  After all, he was at least partially processing the boundaries. So if I just used enough key words...  It just might work!  I stood the boys side by side while my girlfriend found the right picture snapping positioning behind us.  I told Trevy repeatedly to be safe and hold hands.  When their mittens were tucked together I took a step backwards.  Just an itty bitty step.  A still within Trevy grasping step.  He grinned behind his binky and hopped once or twice.  They looked so adorable in the glow of the angel.  My friend's finger was poised right above clicccccck...

I must have inhaled a Super Mommy breath...or been at least partially distracted...

Because in that instant he was gone!  Poof!  Turned on his heel and ran like his pants were on fire!  After what only God knows.  And he was too quick for me snag him... 

There is that moment when you can either fall to pieces or kick it into high gear.  My breath was frozen in my lungs as the panic swirled from the pit of my stomach to my feet.  And then I ran like my pants were on fire!  And to be honest...I wasn't sure if I could make it!  Trevy is very fast.  And there were hundreds of people there.  Which meant gobs of cars.  And we were awfully close...too close...to the parking lot.  And it was very dark despite the glowing snowflakes and candy canes.  And there was that pond with a low-ish fence around it.  Lots of places for little light licking boys to get lost in.  And he is just so very very fast.  

Jonathan was oblivious.  He had no clue any of it happened until the car ride home.

Toby - amazing brother and son that he is - ran like the dickens to my aide!  We both reached Trevy at the same moment.  We may have tackled him.  Because Lord knows...he wasn't responding to our cries for him to "STOP"!!!!!!!!!  Or "BE SAAAAAAAAAAAAFE"!!!!!!

My girlfriend was practically peeing herself.  As was I.   Cause...well...we musta been a sight.  Trevy running like Forrest Gump after something.  Or nothing at all.  Just running because he can.  Me huffing after him in panic-ed high gear.  And Toby racing like the Dickens on our heels.  So we laughed til' our sides ached.  Not Toby who is still too young to have developed a morbid sense of humor.  Nor Trevy who was oblivious to everything but the lights he was drooling over.  Just me and her.  Our men were chatting and oblivious over there.   

Also...she unintentially snapped several shots of my Chasing Trevy booty!

I'm tempted to rename my blog Chasing Trevy.  It would fit nicely too, huh?  

At any rate, this picture will be finding a home in our Christmas scrapbook.   So we can laugh year after year.   And we're most certainly amping up the Safety Awareness training from here on out.  Because Lord knows...if he's still chasing lights waaaaaaay over there next Christmas...

Mommy may not be able to catch him!