Sometimes it can get to be too much. Life, I mean.
At least for me.
And recently I have just felt swallowed whole by it all. Grams keeps cheering that my (typically disgustingly) spic n’ span house is now…a MESS (like hers she says). A constant, cluttery mess. It took me a while to figure out what the heck is going on with that. Both Jonathan and I are neat freaks. Clutter drives me bonkers and makes me crabby. But cluttered it is around here these days. And crabby am I. It hit me one day while I was wrestling Trevy’s shorts…pull-up…and undies around his ankles. We’re trying the undie/pull up combo in hopes of helping him feel wet while keeping his shorts dry. Pulling it all down is a 5 minute process on a good day. Good meaning he’s helping pull them down and rather than reaching for everything within even a hint of touching distance. Most of the time he’s 40 pounds of curious reaching and not an ounce of helpful. And since we’re hitting the potty every 45-60 minutes. And each potty visit sucks (double meaning there) about 15 minutes out of my regularly scheduled life. Well…do the math. Leaves less than enough time to keep up with everything else. Potty Training Trevy is a full time commitment! With no end in sight…
Don’t forget I’m a mommy of more than one too. They each have various activities and needs that are constantly pulling and tugging at me too.
And it’s not just sucking declutter time from me. It’s sucking dinner making time. Shopping altogether time. We’re lucky to have a stick of string cheese and the bottom of a box of cheerios in the house at the same time. Post creating time (surely you’ve noticed how blah-zee my posts are these days) is being squeezed right out. And should I force the matter…there’s a house going to pot behind me waiting on the other side of publish. Friend following time is poof. My mornings used to start with a cuppa Jonathan delivered joe in one hand…mouse in the other. I’d open my Blog Roll. And cruise through all the blogs of my beautiful Seizure mommy and daddy friends. Catching up on their (or your) lives. Commenting. Heart connecting.
Slowly that time was dwindled down to next to nothing.
Especially the ones without the option to follow via email subscription. I even talked at least one friend into adding a Feedburner option. Just for me.
Recently I found another tool which is fab-o too. Feedblitz. You can add any blog as an email subscription for free! Even if they don’t have a follow by email option. As much as love visiting the actual blogs…being able to stay connected via email is so much easier. Ya know.
Anyway.
I’m not sure where I want to land this post. Other than to say…for those of you being swallowed whole by Life right now. I get it. To those of you whole have some wiggle room. Enjoy it!
Love yas…
…danielle
Comments
...danielle
I'm been stressing about the state of our hovel...oops! I mean home too. It gets on my nerves yet by 8pm the last thing I want to do is pick up toys for the umpteenth time or put laundry away or, or, or....
Our psychologist strongly suggests I change my expectations and remember that it won't always be this way...that in the future I'll be able to get the house back to where I want it to be but until that month or year comes, to cut myself some slack.
So, my friend, here's your slack-cutting permission slip!;)
May you find time for a breath or two...a long bath...a short walk...and a strong coffee.
Hugs.
I always look at it this way...having a Disabled Child is like having a slow leak in your boat...you won't sink entirely as long as you can muster the strength to keep pumping the extra water that seeps in every out, but it is often at dangerous, sometimes critical levels, and you never feel quite safe out in the open sea.
It's like having something in your life that consumes extra resources but you can't easily show or explain to people where that drain is coming from.
The house cleaning is a great example. Our house used to be so much cleaner. A lot less...sticky. But because Bennett really hasn't mastered the art of eating, or sitting still in a chair during the 'meal experience and since he still uses his hands for a lot of the consumption and then gets up and touches himself and lots of other things, if you are not right on top of him his stickiness expands outward...
And of course you always miss some, cause you are weary, and it is always harder to clean later.
We are struggling financially, have been for a while. Things are gonna get worse too, with this new Ohio legislation passing, and yet I still will NOT cut the 80.00 a month person we have come in once a month to clean the first floor, which gets the most traffic.
If I did? We might officially lose our freaking minds. I swear to...whoever...that the day after she is here there is a 100% mental reversal that you can PHYSICALLY feel.
Totally weird...