Friday, December 9, 2011

mini miracles and big ones too

 

Trevy can be very cheeky.

 

 

No.  Seriously, though.

 

 

Very.

 

 

Cheeky.

 

 

The more he’s told “no-no” -  the more his (not-so) little body becomes convinced that it must be a “yes-yes”!

 

 

I’m not sure…but maybe this is a phenomenon of little boys (or kids) in general?   Or maybe it’s connected to his missing impulse control center?  IDK… 

 

 

Anyway…

 

 

He was put in Time Out yesterday at school for his lack of impulse control cheek-y-ness.  Evidently, he pulled the plug out of the bottom of the sensory table.  Allowing “snow” to pile into a mess on the floor.  He was told not to pull the plug again.  Which of course could mean only one thing.  He couldn’t live another second without pulling the plug again! 

 

 

Miss. May May informed me that not only did he pull the plug twice.  He made sure to show the teacher what he’d done.  Laughing all the way.

 

 

Hence the Time Out

 

 

I told Jonathan all about it when he got home last night.  I always share cute stories of the day with him.  His reaction surprised me.  I thought it was cute (in a cheeky sorta way).  I thought (and still think) the Time Out was much deserved and exactly what I would have done here at home.  Jonathan, on the other hand, was worried that the teacher might have been mad at Trevy.  Not mad in the moment…but the kind of mad that sticks.  That hardens the heart towards a particular student.  Meaning…Trevy.  Jonathan is worried that Trevy’s cute is wearing off.  Oh, he’s still super adorable right now.  Though, people are always surprised to learn how old he is.  They think he’s maybe just tall for his age.  And Lord knows, the cute doesn’t negate that he’s also a lot of work.  No.  Seriously, though.  A.Lot.Of.Work.  It was really interesting to see Jonathan’s heart reaction be so protective of Trevy.  Worried that his behavior would be misunderstood as willful rebellion rather than mischief driven curiosity.

 

 

Trevy loves the Cause & Effect feedback.

 

 

I push button.  Beep happens.

 

 

I kick dog.  She yelps.

 

 

I pull plug.  Teacher responds x,y,z.

 

 

I’m not explaining away cheeky behavior.  Not by a far cry.  And trust me…my time out pillow has two little worn patches exactly the size and shape of Trevy’s bottom-side cheeks.  I am a huge advocate of obedience!  In fact, Trevy knows how to spell obey.  We chant “O-B-E-Y…obey” every time he doesn’t.  Which is all the live long day.

 

 

But his behavior isn’t driven by ugliness.  It’s mostly curious mixed with distractibility and mobility.  Which still needs correction.  But when I correct him…there is always an underlying layer of love.  God, do I love that boy!  The cuddles and kisses far outweigh the time outs and corrections.  Which is not to say that he doesn’t get that at school.  I’m sure he does, in fact!  It’s just…

 

 

ugh.

 

 

Jonathan…who rarely says these kinda of things…expressed concern that the balance may be tipping.  Or at least that eventually it will tip.  Trevy will not be the apple of everyone’s heart. 

 

 

I’m sure it’s linked to over hearing someone mocking a special needs adult in our community recently.  A guy that Jonathan and I have both said aloud to each other “he reminds me of Trevy”.  Do you do that too?  See a disabled adult and wonder?

 

 

I can’t even express how that hit us in the gut.  To just be reminded that there are mean people out there.  And that we can’t protect him from all the mean people.  Trevy’s cheeky is the complete opposite of the driving force in the hearts of mean people.  His cuteness has been a force field.  But we all know that children…like puppies…eventually lose the cute.

 

 

This is totally not where I was going to take this post, by the way.

 

 

I was going to tell you how Jonathan was convinced that Trevy would head straight to that sensory table and pull the plug today.  I didn’t argue.  Although waaaaay down deep, I hoped.

 

 

And wouldn’t ya know…mini miracles do happen…cause Miss. May May emailed me…

 

 

Guess who went to the sensory bin and left the plug in?! He went to go pull it, stopped, pulled hand back, said "plug stay in"

 

 

I’m celebrating the mini non-plug-pulling miracles of Trevy today.  And praying for some major ones for sweet little Sophie…

 

 

who just came out of surgery, actually.  You can follow her progress at her blog.

 

 

…danielle 

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love the mini-miracles :)

And yes, we do that too :(

Henry often talks things through to himself about when he's been told off;

no touch that, not for Henry, Mummy very cwoss , no touching...etc

So far, he carries off the cute too. KT x

lisa said...

Your perspective on Trevy's misbehavior is spot on, and one that I logically know is true for Julia too but forget too many times. I am going to re-read this post a few times and let it sink in. I tend to take her love of cause and effect too personally.

And yes, I also wonder how long the cuteness will work in her favor. Sigh. The thought of anyone ever judging her harshly for things she can't help makes my blood boil and tears well up simultaneously.

Mrs.M said...

Awwwww.....I LOVE that he stopped himself from pulling the plug today. It's those moments that will keep him apple of other's heart as well. And it's those moments that make me want to jump and cheer! What a sweetie! And you know what my first thought reaction was???
"He's so smart!" Many full brained kids wouldn't stop themselves, Danielle...and I've experienced that through volunteering at the kiddos schools and my own W.
Poor Jonathon....that's so hard on one's heart. Don't the dads often seem to look into the future more than the moms? My Mr. B does anyway......
Hugs to you all
Margo

critters and crayons said...

That's great he kept the plug in- but I guess I was worried that without the impulse control center, that any attempt to correct might yield consistently negative results? I just don't know enough about how our brains work to know but it certainly sounds like a major hurdle to develop impulse control when the node has been removed. So glad he figured it out, though- no more time-outs! At least for that one!

happy's mommy said...

C&C...and that's the miraculous mystery of the brain, right?! I convince myself all the time that he can't do xyz...and he's constantly surprising me! It's too wild to even do justice to with words...I think we should be the new Discovery Channel family. :P

btw...thank you muchly for the blog love. I may have done a little jig that lil' ol me was listed in your top five fave blogs!

...danielle