Friday, March 7, 2014

the cute factor


1-Danielle Hamilton Foltz - Mozilla Firefox 362014 72104 AM


He’s easy to love right now. But I mean, seriously.  Look at that goofy face. Those sparkly eyes. It has crossed my mind that he’s so loveable in large part because he’s so stinkin’ adorable. But what happens when, like kids generally do, he loses the cute factor. Will he still be loveable. Will people still smile at his antics. At him. Will they still light up when he comes in the room, because his super power is making the world around him glow with joy. Most of the time.


These are questions that swirl around my heart and mind.


Yesterday I took the big kids for impromptu hair cuts. Gotta love Fantastic Sam’s. It’s quick and easy on the wallet.


I couldn’t help but notice her sitting in the chair. Something about the way she held her shoulders. The way she moved her hands. I knew quickly that though her hair was gray…her mind was young. Young, because at some point along the way it had stopped maturing. If I had to guess I’d say she was functionally around 8. Not that you can ever really pin that sort of thing down. Because if Trevor has taught me anything at all…he’s taught me that he is far too complex to fit into any chronological box. But still. She was clearly a middle aged woman with the spirit of a child.


Even though I tried not to stare she drew me like a magnet. I couldn’t resist sneaking little glances now and then. Internally Venn Diagramming her and who Future Trevy might be someday. Do you do that too?


I didn’t realize that her mom was with her until they were leaving. Her mother was even more gray than she. She looked peaceful and kind. Not all rough and ragged like I so often feel. I avoid the mirror at all costs because it seems I’ve aged decades for every year that goes by. But this mom was lovely even with silver hair and wrinkles around her eyes and mouth. Maybe that’s what acceptance looks like? Gray haired and kind and peaceful. I decided that’s how I’d like to look someday.


When the daughter’s hair was done she walked right over to me as if she felt the magnetic pull too. In distorted unintelligible (to most) speech she told me it was my turn now. I’ve had a lot of practice deciphering unintelligible speech. I smiled and answered, “it will be soon”. She reached a hand towards me. Without hesitation I grabbed her offered friendship and gave it a gentle squeeze. I’m not sure if it surprised her or if she paused to re-gather her thoughts. Trevy does that. Processing pauses, we call them. Then she reminded me again that it was my turn. I told her it would be soon. And without a good-bye she moved on to her mom who was waiting to help her on with her coat.


With misty eyes I watched as the mom zipped her up. I watched the stylist who had done her hair smile and wave good bye. Not in an obligatory way at all. In fact, after they had left she said almost to herself, “she’s so cute”.


That nearly did me in.


Because it’s true. Even though she was gray and grown long past the days when the cute factor should have faded…


she was still cute. Beautiful. Charming. Full of child-like joy and acceptance. Offering a hand of friendship to complete strangers. Leaving everyone she connected with glow-y. In that way that Trevy has about him.


And I thought, you know what, just maybe he won’t lose the cute factor either.



Kevin Jordan said...

I often think how people will react to Zac when he is no longer so "cute" going along in his walker at 5 years old. I hope people will still the the joy in him and see him for the person he is and not just a caricature of a disabled man.

Thank you for this story :)

Mrs. M said...

Trevy will radiate fun & love and hopefully only attract this as well. His eyes will still sparkle even when he's taller than you and his laugh will still be infectious.
And you will have natural highlights in your hair, and sparkling eyes, and a loving peaceful heart.