"Go with Sorrow and Suffering, and if you cannot welcome them now, when you come to the difficult places where you cannot manage alone, put your hands in theirs confidently and they will take you exactly where I want you to go."
- Hind's Feet on High Places
There is a part of my heart that loathes sharing the bitter moments. There is another part which believes it to be deeply important.
Sleep should bring peace and rest and relief from the worries of life. Sleep is said to be healing. Yet, for Trevor sleep has grown to be a time of turmoil and the very fight for survival. He didn't wake this morning healed and refreshed. Nor did I. I woke discouraged.
Because it is discouraging for rescue meds to gnaw the heels of nearly a month of seizure freedom.
It is discouraging when your son, with his precious, child-like mind expresses that he doesn't understand why he has seizures and wishes he knew why.
It is discouraging to watch him struggle through the pharmaceutical fog which brings elevated emotions, confused thoughts, jumbled speech, and marrow deep restless exhaustion.
Epilepsy is discouraging.
Like Much-Afraid, our chosen companions are Sorrow and Suffering. Epilepsy is discouraging, but this is the path we're called to tread and so we must put our hands in theirs and Trust.
"The only way is by learning to accept, day by day, the actual condition and test permitted by God, by a continually repeated laying down of our own will and acceptance of his as it is presented to us in the form of the people with whom we have to live and work, and in the things which happen to us. Every acceptance of his will becomes and altar of sacrifice, and every such surrender and abandonment of ourselves to his will is a means of furthering us on the way to the High Places to which he desires to bring every child of his while they are still living on earth."
- Hind's Feet on High Places
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