happy he's not real

So the boys were taking a bath together last night. Super cute. Nothing like sudsy little boys. Splashing and making a mess. Together.







Recently Trevor has just been SO enamored with Toby.









Toby's noticed. And has been eating up the attention. Even going the extra (obnoxiously loud) mile to make Trevy laugh.









And in fact...at the gym yesterday. Pre-seizures. Cause the seizures always steal the happy energy from the gym. Or from whatever. But before we were robbed...Trevy was chasing Toby around waving in his adorably awkward I-can't-quite-make-my-hand-move-right kinda way and saying...









"Hi tiss tiss"











Toby & I were convinced he was trying to say Toby!











But last night in the bath...Toby was being crazy. Trevy was all bubbly and giggly. As the laughter subsided a bit...there was that tangible sigh-ness in the air. You know...that contented feeling after you've had a good belly laugh.











And Toby reached out a squeaky clean arm and rubbed Trevy's curly top.











"I just LOVE Trevy"











he sighed out and looked up at me. I was glowing. I could feel it on my cheeks.













"You know mom..."















Toby rubbed the shaggy curls (which I vowed not to cut til' we know for sure which way the surgery pendulum will swing) again. Trevy grinned like a fool.













"Trevy's SO much better than a real two year old ya know."













I raised an eyebrow.













"Well...you know what I mean?"

















"Real two year olds are SUCH brats. But Trevy...well...he's just still a baby on the inside...and he's not a brat at all. And he's just so easy to love...and make laugh"











"And even if he has brain surgery...I'm happy that it's still gonna be awhile before he's like a real two year old..."















The words were so pure. And innocent. And honest. And full of truth. My heart melted.













Partly because I love that Toby feels the freedom to speak his heart out loud to me. And partly because...well...Trevy is easy to love. In his baby-ness. His innocent mischievousness. And I'd be lying if I said there's not a part of me that loves that very thing about him too. As much energy as I pour into encouraging him towards maturity. Towards growing up. Towards being a real two year old. There is a place in my soul that resonates deeply with Toby's heart thoughts.











Which is why I wrapped him up in a drippy bear hug. And felt the contagious warmth of childlike Faith. Pure. Honest. Innocent. Spread it's way outward from my heart's core. Right into the tightness of my arms around my very mature...very grown up...very real...sometimes obnoxious...sometimes so sweet my eyes water eight year old snuggled in my sappy mommy-ness.