1.06.2010

the seizure mommy and the questionnaire

A seizure mommy friend (whom I consider kindred. And extraordinarily funny!) is also heading down Transition Lane. For some comic relief (is my stress-ness that obvious?) she forwarded me her (witty-licious) responses to the questionnaire she was given to help guide her daughter's placement. Any/all names have been changed (if you don't like them...blame Bristel!).


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Ask her to point to nose, ears, hair, feet"... Does she point correctly to at least seven parts?


NO


Does your child make sentences that are three or four words long?

NO


When you ask "what is your name" does your child say both first and last name?

NO


Does your child kick a ball by swinging his leg forward?

NO SHE IS TOO BUSY TRYING TO EAT IT


Does your child jump with both feet leaving the floor?

NO


Does your child stand on one foot for a second without holding on to anything?

NO SHE STANDS ON MY FOOT FOR A SECOND WHILE DECIDING WHAT TO BITE


Draw a line from top to bottom. Ask your child to make a line like yours. Does she draw a single line in a vertical direction?

NO SHE ATE THE CRAYON


Does your child thread a shoelace through a bead?

NO AND WE ARE ON OUR WAY TO THE ER TO GET THE BEADS BACK OUT OF HER


Can your child draw a circle?

NO SHE ATE THE CRAYON


Can your child draw a horizontal line?

NO AND WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF CRAYONS AND HER TEETH HAVE MULTICOLOUR SPECKLES


Line up four objects in a row. Does your child copy?

NO AND SHE HAS ONLY CRAMMED TWO OF THEM IN HER MOUTH THOUGH - GO ROSEBUD!


When you say seven three does your child repeat the two numbers in the right order?

NO SHE SMILED REALLY CUTELY AND PULLED MY NOSE


After she draws a picture does your child tell you what she drew?

NO WE HAD NO CRAYONS LEFT BUT SHE DID EAT THE PAPER - GO ROSEBUD


Does your child use a spoon to feed herself with little spilling?

NO SHE USES A SPOON TO PRACTICE BITING


Does your child push a little shopping cart, stroller or wagon steering it around objects and backing out of corners if he can't turn?

NO SHE GRABS THE DOLL OUT OF THE STROLLER, BITES HER, AND CLIMBS ONTO THE STROLLER TO LICK THE HANDLE


Does your child put on a coat jacket or shirt by herself?

NO BUT SHE CAN DRAG THEM AROUND THE ROOM BEFORE EATING THEM


Using these exact words ask your child "Are you a girl or a boy? Does your child answer correctly?

NO SHE FARTED


Does anything about your child worry you?

DID YOU READ THE ABOVE???


The above is a subset. I wish they had asked me a few I could have said yes to. Just a couple of nice ones even. Its so depressing. Rolled at 4 months, sat at 6 months, crawled at 9 months, said addie at 10 months for Daddy, walked at 12 months. First seizure at 12 months.


Thank you so much epilepsy for stealing so much from my healthy 12 month old. And to think we have it good...

11 comments:

JSmith5780 said...

Guessing Bristel just watched Santa Buddies? (Rosebud is the girl dog)

It's sad to see our kids on paper.

baby trevor's mommy said...

hahaha...so that's where she got it!

...d

Wendi said...

This is so sad ((( hugs ))) :(

Anonymous said...

Similar to filling out the Disability Allowance form I did recently.
Repetitive & depressing.
No he can't do this, no he can't do that, ad nauseam.

((Hugs)) to you & family, kt xx

Adesta said...

I remember filling out the same questionnaire for Marissa and feeling much like you do Danielle.

My four year old could put a 40 piece jigsaw puzzle together by herself, but she couldn't manage to accomplish the simple tasks they asked about in the questionnaire. I felt like such a failure when only moments before I was so proud that she could do the puzzle on her own.

Carolyn said...

(((hugs)))

Adesta summed up a common sentiment... why can't you ask me about the things we CAN do??? Abby can't do a lot of things, but she can sit at the piano and play sequential 5th and octaves, put together a jigsaw puzzle too, and can climb to the very top of the big-girl play structure at the playground!

Monica~ James~ Connor said...

Is it sad that I snorted when I was laughing so hard at this??? I am so doing that at our next eval time!!

How did you know that I needed this today? Been sulking all afternoon that all of the other kids in Connor's class are learning all these new skills while Connor sits & stares at the lights? Stupid a## seizures.

Keri V. Kennedy said...

haha - as soon as you said you were sharing the questionnaire I knew who it was from! Alas she is a fellow Kindred spirit of me as well. (or should I say her Daughter is of my daughter).

I can tell you as a parent who will soon embark on a much scarier transition - the one from Pre-K to Kindergarten, it will be okay. Pre-K has been good. We've been doing it for a year and a half now. Last year was half days 3 days a week, this year is full days 5 days a week.
Although Rebecca has never been a surgical candidate, she has also never been seizure free. (She does have a VNS, that is the only epilepsy surgery she qualified for).

Hang in there!

blogzilly said...

Yeah this resonated with me...also made me laugh out loud many times. Bennett will make the transition from EI to the other in less than a year, he also took some more testing this week at that special school. Sucks constantly evaluating our kids like this, but what else is there I guess?

I wonder who the author is? I think I know, but can't be sure.

Adesta said...

Carolyn,

Yeah, I've always wondered why they never ask what the child can do. When Marissa was being evaluated, they asked her to jump off a little chair and she refused. It wasn't that she couldn't, but she was afraid of getting hurt, she's so girly lol, but she also knows that jumping off furniture is a no-no and they asked us why she wouldn't do it! I looked at the evaluators and just responded, "We don't allow her to jump on and off of furniture so she refuses to do it". She got that marked against her! I was so completely outraged!

Colby said...

Yeah, Danielle...It's NEVER about what they CAN do when evaluating our kids....

I laughed 'til I cried and sent this to every SN Mom I know! It is "sitcom material"....

The ONLY way I have gotten through all of this for so many years is with God...and a BIG sense of humor (sometimes viewed as "skewed" by "normal parents" when I laugh about THIS kind of stuff!)

Thanks for sharing your friend's comic relief!

Cyndi