Monday, January 9, 2012




I haven’t shared much about it for a multitude of reasons.  I don’t want to sound like a cry baby when I blubber that life is just so much harder without her help.  I want to protect her privacy.  I believe that my family…and all their unique needs… was Given to me and I should be able to care for them on my own.  I’m stubborn sometimes.  I also thought we’d be back to our “normal” routine by now.  It’s been months though.  And I didn’t know what to say.  Or how to say it.  Mostly, because I’m worried and I tend to hold my worry close to my heart.  It makes me uncomfortable sharing this, and I’m not sure why. 



So I’ve been quiet.



For the last five months my mom (otherwise known as Super Grams) has had a significant decline in her health. 



Five months ago she helped at least three days a week with Trevy.  They practically spent the summer in the pool together.  She gave me a weekly “errand day”.  Helped corral the kids whenever we had doctors appointments or what not.  Would be a substitute teacher when I was sick.  If I wanted spontaneous company on an errand, I could call and she’d be ready to join me in a heart beat.  And was always there to fill in any time I had a need.  She (and my dad) are the only family we have in the area.  And I really don’t have any one else who will volunteer to help.  Or that I feel comfortable asking.  Trevy does qualify for some “helper hours” so I can pay someone to help here and there.  But it’s not the same.  



And something happened to Grams. 



Almost over night.



Suddenly she was struggling to breath.  Her left side extremities are all weakened.  And a whole constellation of symptoms which surely must be connected and yet the doctor she was seeing didn’t seem to be putting it together.  And as a result she has yet to have a diagnosis or treatment plan. 



And she has yet to move back towards health.



I’ve been telling her for months that just because a doctor is the “chief of xyz” doesn’t mean he has a clue!  In fact, if we’d listened to the chief of pedi neurology at our local hospital Trevy never would have been a surgical candidate. I do have a little experience with navigating murky medical issues.  Alas, she followed my advice but only when it came through another source.  My dad’s employer offers a service called Best Doctors which they are using now to help guide their medical direction.  The nurse advocate told my mom she needed to be her own health advocate which meant aggressively pursuing a diagnosis and treatment plan.  And finding a new doctor.   



I was like, duh, I’ve been telling you that for months!






She has found a new doctor.  Who has ordered yet more tests.  More thorough tests.  One which is happening today. 



I’m hoping and praying that this test at least gives her more information than she had yesterday.  And brings her one step closer to health again.  Cause we want our Grams back! 





TherExtras said...

Sending prayers for Grams.


Mrs. M said...

Ohhhh....prayers and hugs for Grams and all of you. I too hope she gets answers and then can make a plan.
Go Grams Go!

blogzilly said...

Speaking from experience, it is never easy to write about your Mother's illness on your blog. You feel the need to, but also, you have to do it with great care for so many reasons, not the least of which being that you know your Mom will read what you write.

I think you did just fine, though I am sorry to hear about it of course. We will always, ALWAYS, look at our own parents as stubborn when it comes to how they take care of themselves.

Hope everything is OK.

Kristen said...

I hope everything is ok and pray that she finds the answers soon.

Kristen said...

I hope everything is ok and pray that she finds the answers soon.

Anonymous said...

Hope she get answers & gets well soon xx kt

Abbe said...

wow. just catching up on your blog and see this. this. and my throat tightened, because it's grams. and i know what grams is to you, to those kids of yours, to your whole family. i'll be praying for her, and all of you, that there will be insight and wisdom and HEALING soon. {hugs}