I woke up this morning groggy.
Seriously groggy.
Like...I'm moving through water. Swirled with sand. Nose barely in the air zone.
I've had quite a few of these days over the past year and a half. I think it's my internal defense mechanism.
You know how some newborns zonk out when they're overstimulated.
That's totally me when life feels overwhelming. I just shut down. And nothing comes easy. Choosing breakfast is enough to melt me down. Everything is a chore. I've read posts...and desperately wanted to comment. Tried even. Only to delete it in frustration. I'm a writer! Words should come easy!
But on groggy days...they don't.
When life is overwhelming me. Nothing comes easy.
And I'm feeling very overwhelmed these days.
Overwhelmed every time I think about the possibilty that our insurance may not agree that we have no choice other than seeing Dr. Rockstar. I'm not looking forward to sorting this out over the next couple weeks...
Overwhelmed every time Trevy has another cluster. Although to be fair...we have seen a decrease in seizures after last Topomax boost.
And speaking of Topomax...it's overwhelming that there is now a generic in the sprinkle capsules. Which means...
A) A brawl over coverage
B) We suck it up and use the generic
C) I crawl back under the covers and let sleep whisk me away for the next few months...so I can stop the maddness in my mind
And I'm overwhemlingly disappointed in myself. That I'm so easily overwhelm-able.
Anyway...
Seriously groggy.
Like...I'm moving through water. Swirled with sand. Nose barely in the air zone.
I've had quite a few of these days over the past year and a half. I think it's my internal defense mechanism.
You know how some newborns zonk out when they're overstimulated.
That's totally me when life feels overwhelming. I just shut down. And nothing comes easy. Choosing breakfast is enough to melt me down. Everything is a chore. I've read posts...and desperately wanted to comment. Tried even. Only to delete it in frustration. I'm a writer! Words should come easy!
But on groggy days...they don't.
When life is overwhelming me. Nothing comes easy.
And I'm feeling very overwhelmed these days.
Overwhelmed every time I think about the possibilty that our insurance may not agree that we have no choice other than seeing Dr. Rockstar. I'm not looking forward to sorting this out over the next couple weeks...
Overwhelmed every time Trevy has another cluster. Although to be fair...we have seen a decrease in seizures after last Topomax boost.
And speaking of Topomax...it's overwhelming that there is now a generic in the sprinkle capsules. Which means...
A) A brawl over coverage
B) We suck it up and use the generic
C) I crawl back under the covers and let sleep whisk me away for the next few months...so I can stop the maddness in my mind
And I'm overwhemlingly disappointed in myself. That I'm so easily overwhelm-able.
Anyway...
Comments
Hug of God's peace from da Dawg...
These funks we get in...are so annoying to ourselves, but totally understandable. If we sailed right through it, we'd be in complete denial.
There's nothing about this disorder that isn't "overwhelming"..Nothing. From one agonizing cluster to the next...one excruciatingly difficult decision after another..
But, you've shown me over and over again that it's normal and once we spill it out, we keep going.
Hope it's looking up in RI!
((((BIG HUGS))))
Holli
P.S. I usually get my fix from Oreos! ;-)
Easier said than done. (I love cliche.)
I do think it gets better with age. That makes me feel better, too. hehe.
To save me time, just gonna comment all here instead on each of your new posts - 3 in one day?
Stress that is mental - sometimes a person can talk themselves out of it, er, think themselves out of it. Think about it.
Trevy's family is in my daily prayers. Barbara
It'll pass right?!?
So if YOU are disappointed in YOURSELF, then I guess I will join in....I am already there with the 2/week migraines!!!
"This too shall pass...."
Fondly,
Cyndi