I have a bout of momentary panic daily.
Because Trevy is very mobile...
Because Trevy is very unaware of danger...
Because Trevy still puts every.single.thing into his mouth...
Because Trevy requires 100% supervision 100% of the time...
Because daily there will be a moment when I let my gaurd down and do something crazy like...
Pee. With the door closed.
Make a milk. A snack.
Read an email.
Get dressed?
Something that requires a fraction of my attention focused elsewhere.
And in that moment anything can happen. And has happened!
(Remember the time he escaped? Or fell down the stairs?)
So this morning as I was preparing for a trip to the zoo I took my eyes off him for a moment. And in that moment he vanished. I had no idea where he was. No idea.
I began frantically calling his name.
No answer. Not entirely surprising as he's non-verbal(ish). But I was hoping for a head popping out of hiding or something.
I began frantically making sure all the windows (we were upstairs) were too low to fall from.
Shew.
I checked all the doors. Under all the beds. In the way way back of the master closet.
No Trevy.
No Trevy.
No Trevy.
At the peak of my panic attack. As my mind whizzed through all the terrible things that he could have done to himself (how can I call myself a good mother with all those choking hazards around!) or could be happening to him no fault his own (please God don't let today be the day he has an unstoppable tonic clonic!). As my hands started sweating profusely. And my heart thumping out of my chest.
Suddenly there he was.
Right in front of me.
Tumbled out of who knows where. Thank you, Jesus...I breathed upon seeing his binkie still plugging the taste tester.
With tears streaming I gathered him up in a bear hug while my momentary panic subsided. He just smiled behind the binkie. Clueless that he'd nearly given me a heart attack. Just happy to be smothered in love. Just happy being Trevy.
While his mommy was busy desperately hoping that someday these momentary panic moments will be fond memories to someday laugh together about...
Because Trevy is very mobile...
Because Trevy is very unaware of danger...
Because Trevy still puts every.single.thing into his mouth...
Because Trevy requires 100% supervision 100% of the time...
Because daily there will be a moment when I let my gaurd down and do something crazy like...
Pee. With the door closed.
Make a milk. A snack.
Read an email.
Get dressed?
Something that requires a fraction of my attention focused elsewhere.
And in that moment anything can happen. And has happened!
(Remember the time he escaped? Or fell down the stairs?)
So this morning as I was preparing for a trip to the zoo I took my eyes off him for a moment. And in that moment he vanished. I had no idea where he was. No idea.
I began frantically calling his name.
No answer. Not entirely surprising as he's non-verbal(ish). But I was hoping for a head popping out of hiding or something.
I began frantically making sure all the windows (we were upstairs) were too low to fall from.
Shew.
I checked all the doors. Under all the beds. In the way way back of the master closet.
No Trevy.
No Trevy.
No Trevy.
At the peak of my panic attack. As my mind whizzed through all the terrible things that he could have done to himself (how can I call myself a good mother with all those choking hazards around!) or could be happening to him no fault his own (please God don't let today be the day he has an unstoppable tonic clonic!). As my hands started sweating profusely. And my heart thumping out of my chest.
Suddenly there he was.
Right in front of me.
Tumbled out of who knows where. Thank you, Jesus...I breathed upon seeing his binkie still plugging the taste tester.
With tears streaming I gathered him up in a bear hug while my momentary panic subsided. He just smiled behind the binkie. Clueless that he'd nearly given me a heart attack. Just happy to be smothered in love. Just happy being Trevy.
While his mommy was busy desperately hoping that someday these momentary panic moments will be fond memories to someday laugh together about...
Comments
Tatiana
It's laugh or cry...or BOTH...right?!
Not every day has such a big freak fest. But every day something happens to make my heart pound. Life with IS kids...
I really should be bitter that I'm not thinner!
...danielle
You know how there are gates and locks in a canal? Serial gating or doors - possible? For at least part of your home? You know me, trying to be practical and solve the problem. Just trying. Barbara
Love your post...as usual...And I could FEEL that panic....Though i've neve had to go searching for my boy!
Here's one for ya...Reading this post makes me thankful Colby can't walk!!! How craaaaazy is that?????? (Well, KIND of thanful....LOL!)
Cyndi
Cyndi...you always make me smile!
...danielle
Henry can spot an open gate or door a mile off, and moves like lightning then too!
Regularly find him trying out new bad things - current fave is anything to do with toilets (nice), plus popping any of Tom's small toys in his mouth (handy).
He does have a 'happy' noise that often gives me a hint i should check what he's up to, lol!
kt x
...danielle